Monday, September 23, 2013

Going Bananas for Monkey Burger

Do I have a tale for my Sprites today.  As you may or may not know we Insomniacs go out to eat each Friday.  Every week we rotate who gets to pick the venue.  Well it turns out this week was my choice.  I wanted to pick a location we had not experienced yet.  I finally decided on a place called Monkey Burger.

Well even before Friday night this caused a number of fun exchanges mostly between us and Tiny Artist.

"What's Monkey Burger?  Is that a place where you eat monkeys?"

"Maybe they don't cook monkeys but instead they have monkeys in cages.  Or maybe monkeys dance on the tables.  Or what if they have ape waiters to serve the food?"

Tiny Bard also chimed in once in awhile with his thoughts.

"I don't want to eat my brothers."

"I just want a salad."

Well finally Friday night arrived and we were scheduled to meet Uncle Arizona after he was done with work.  We had to wait for about ten minutes as he was running late.  During our wait Tiny Artist looks into the restaurant and sees what he decides to be our monkey waiter.  He also decided that because the statue of a monkey was kind of hunched over that it must be pooping in the restaurant.  Meanwhile, Tiny Bard is looking in at everyone's burgers and shouting about how big they are.  Both I and Sleepy Bard decided we would be arriving late from then on.

Finally Uncle AZ arrived and we headed into the restaurant.  We proceeded to the register and while we were deciding what we would order Uncle AZ asked the cashier about the burgers.

"So these guys don't believe us that you use monkey to make your burgers.  Could you tell them about that?"

"Monkey meat means the burgers are 30% juicier than other burgers."

Of course Tiny Artist was lost in his own world at this time and did not hear the exchange.  He continued to insist the burgers were not monkey.  We ordered our meals and took a seat.  The Tinys had gotten into barrels of monkeys to amuse themselves while we waited.

Your monkeys are looking kind of blue

The burgers came out and let me tell you these things were BIG.  Both Sleepy Bard and I ordered a burger called "The Mad Hatter"  these included everything a great burger should.  Jalapenos, bacon, cheese, jalapenos, fajita peppers, shredded lettuce and of course jalapenos.  They are a bit messy but these burgers are amazing.  Now don't get me wrong they may not be Red Robin or Five Guys good but they are close.  What really sealed the deal were the fries.  These may have been the best fries I have ever had. Ever.  They were salted to perfection and seasoned to leave you with a satisfying bite after each one.

We raise our glasses to good food.

Tiny Bard however, decided that the burgers were not that great (although he did mention how great the fries were).  His main complaint was that the bacon was not soft enough.  I swear there is something wrong with these boys.  They want their bacon to be soft and chewy.  As a result Tiny Artist wound up with the majority of Tiny Bard's burger.  Now let me say right now that one burger was overkill for even the adults, Tiny Artist however managed to throw down two of them without a complaint.  Of course this could have been a result of Uncle AZ betting him a dollar he could not finish it off.

 Tiny Bard banging on his cup for more fries

"Consider this burger. . . Slaughtered."  He responded.

Tiny Artist is in burger heaven

Of course at this point I had to get into the betting game.  Now Tiny Artist does not eat vegetables for anything.  Well Sleepy Bard still had two big pieces of lettuce on her dish.  I bet him a dollar he could not eat a piece of the lettuce.  Of course once again he rose to the challenge.  He eyed the lettuce in horror for a moment.  He finally took a tiny nibble out of it and made a face that looked like he had a mouthful of Warheads.

Is lettuce really that bad?

Not one to give up Tiny Artist tried again.  He took a much larger piece and immediately grabbed his soda and started to chug.  He declared that he may throw up if he keeps trying to eat it.  I told him he did not have to eat the lettuce but would forfeit the bet.  One more time he tried.  This time he ran to the bathroom.  He came out and declared that he had thrown up.  He was not in the bathroom long enough for such an event so I don't believe it.  He did give up the challenge at that point however.  Sleepy Bard took a bite of the lettuce to show off.  After a moment she had a strange face.  She informed us that the lettuce here tasted like black licorice.

After our meal Tiny Bard and Tiny Artist had gathered up the wooden sticks that hold the burgers together.  They were having sword fights.  After a bit of their horseplay Uncle Arizona chimed in.

"What's with all this monkey business?"

Tiny Artist smirked and responded.

"We can't help it we're bananas."

He certainly looks bananas.

We sat around for a bit longer.  Uncle AZ built a chain of monkeys while Tiny Bard listened to some music on his mother's phone.  Tiny Artist continued to amuse himself with the sticks.  Finally we decided we should stop over at Party City before heading back home. That however, is a story for another day.  Before departing The Tinys did have to get a picture with our "Monkey Waiter".

Uncle Arizona's monkey chain

This was our waiter The Tinys went ape for him

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